Adios 2009

Well the Christmas holidays passed pretty much just as quickly as they arrived, all that turkey stuffing, battling thru crowds of irate shoppers who must deliberately walk slower when you’re in a rush and frantic gift wrapping is over for yet another year.

Christmas in the heat and sand of the desert is not quite the same as back home in the UK, there is no falling out with the parents for one or the obligatory trips to see family members who you only see at this time of year out of gilt for ignoring them the other 364 days of the year and thank them effortlessly for yet another useless gift. Of course there is also not the snow and the endless chaos that ensues, people driving like maniacs in dangerous conditions doing their best Jenson Button impressions, traffic jams for miles and people stranded at work…. Sounds like a rainy day in the sandpit.

We did manage to make it the best Christmas yet with eight of us around the table resembling a gala dinner for the United Nations. We had a Yank, Ozzie, Scot, some English, a Welsh / Irish half breed oh yea and of course a Geordie. Consuming numerous bottles of red wine and vodka… not mixed together mind (that would be messy)…… as well as having enough food that would literally feed a small nation, we certainly made it festive.

The weekend was a welcome break from the madness of the last few weeks. As usually its been a busy one – Ants mum was here for a week and with it came the usual obligatory tourist trips that you have to take all visitors on, see the aquarium at the mall, head to the gold souks, see another aquarium at the Atlantis, watch the fountains for the 150th time etc etc but we did take a trip out to the desert and the Sharjah desert wildlife park which was surprisingly good… although there where no humping tortoises or tigers like we witnessed at the Al Ain zoo….. clearly there is nothing in the water in Sharjah….



The last few weeks have also included a truck load of events. There was the Christmas party at the British Embassy and in typical British fashion it rained just to add that authentic touch, three white ice frost human statues is always a good look drenched from torrential thunderstorms and covered in mud although we did make the best of it….. and looked amazing.





There was also the human statue Kit Kat promo at Ibn Battuta mall for advertising heavy weight JWT, the whole mall literally came to a stand still with everyone whipping out their camera phones to grab a photo as the statue took his regular break.

Finally there was the works Christmas party…. An event I turned up three hours late to as I was too busy roller skating around a mall dressed as a human sized Christmas bauble or in the words of Ant “a Christmas hemorrhoid”.

The theme of the party was sparkle and the Bareface crew definitely did in all their finery and shape throwing, resembling what can only be described as the early rounds of Britain’s got talent when they show the crap ones first to bump up the ratings…..

Well 2009 is just about over and a New Decade is upon us…. It only seems like two minutes ago when most of the world was in frantic panic about the Millennium big and the impending global meltdown that was to follow, saying good-bye to the 90’s and now the noughties have passed by in what can only be described as the speed of a granny in a mobility cart dosed up on pro plus and red bull!! We are one day down in 2010 and I wonder what the next 10 years are going to bring…a dreaded 30th for one!!

Happy New Year!!!

Holiday season

Well it’s just about that time of year again when it feels like we barely have a full week of work in the Office.

December has arrived and with it comes the darker evenings as we leave the bright lights of the office, anticipation at the prospect of cool weather, respite from the scorching heat, the possibility of a spot of rain and then the there is the usual influx of holidays like Eid, National day, Christmas and then not forgetting New Year proving that this time Sheikh Mo does not have the whole thing cancelled again.

First on the festive calendar was Eid – and a very enjoyable trip to the Oman – UAE border with Ant’s Visa run (seemed like such a good idea to go during Eid at the time). Despite the numerous times we have been to the border and sampled the delights that is usually the deserted Oman visa hall and two immigration officers looking fed up behind the counter, nothing quite prepared us for the 8 hr queue we had to endure this time around. We should have known something was amiss when we had to pass through two military check points on the way to the border post, traffic as far as the eye could see and that impending feeling that we had gone to far to turn back now.

After a fairly uneventful departure from the UAE (courtesy of some eye lash fluttering from Miranda) we headed down through baron no mans land, penned in either side by featureless mountains to be confronted by what can only be described as a scene of Armageddon and utter devastation that would not look out of place in the closing moments of latest Hollywood action flick 2012.

Hummers abandoned carelessly across three parking bays, hoards of families wilting wearily in the desert heat and Pizza hut hastily scrambling together whatever ingredients they had left to cater for the trapped masses.

We had to queue for 8 hours to get the entry stamp, gutted in the knowledge that we would not even be crossing into Oman but merely spinning a you turn in the car park to head on our merry way back to DXB.

Completely devastated at wasting a whole day at the hands of Omani immigration, the rest of the holiday weekend was spent in bed catching up on lost sleep and another day trip (I hear you ask “did you not learn your lesson last time”) but this time to the surprisingly good, Al Ain zoo – a zoo which boasts one of the best breeding programmes in the Middle East. A fact we witnessed first hand on numerous occasions much to the immature giggles of the passing public (myself included) as we watch ancient tortoises try dry humping each other with as much intensity as an intergalactic cosmic collision.

After Eid we then had national day celebrations and my three days following this where spent down on the JBR walk, witnessing a carnival of dressed up Hummers and 4 x 4’s proudly celebrating the 38th national day of the UAE. Along with the constant stream of over the top cars where a throng of people to watch and enjoy the many local entertainers doing their thing.

That same weekend also marked the return of the Dubai Rugby 7’s, an expat institution that brings with it a weekend of drinking, eating pies, hot sunshine and the occasional Rugby match of course.

The weekend started with a night at the Christina Noble Children’s Foundation gala dinner, Bareface supplied a number of hostesses and myself and a few of my colleagues where dressed to impress as we hot footed it to the Dance floor. The Christina Noble Children’s foundation is an amazing organization that helps improve the lives of children around the world – particularly those in South East Asia, and this year we where especially privileged as the founding lady herself made an appearance and gave an impassioned speech which had everyone on their feet and made grown rugby boys cry. The following days where spent at the stadium stocking up on supplies of Bulmer’s and cheering on the home nations. Ireland where conspicuous in their absent, England made it to the semi’s yet Wales won their championship – with a very mixed Celtic heritage its great to be able to choose which nationality to support!

As the Sun set on the Rugby 7’s and the hangover kicked in, the impending arrival of the mother in law suddenly dawned on me….. more on this next time……

How the hell do you work this thing?

So this is the third time I have attempted to begin writing this blog and every time I do, I get the dreaded writers block, not in the sense that many of literatures greatest writers get… more a case of getting easily distracted by the tempting prospect of a night out with frozen margaritas on the beach, a trip to the Cinema, Dinner out somewhere or in the case of the last few nights, cocktails on the sofa whilst watching episodes of trashy UK soap operas and catching up with the latest bed hopping antics of the residents of some rain soaked northern English street. It kind of makes me want to turn the air con on full, put on my best parker jacket and stand under the freezing cold shower to remind me of the delights of home.

Talking of cocktails, our very elusive housemate “Tara” (not real name due to the threat of slander proceedings – or the fact that she is refusing to cook for me from now on!!) introduced me to the delights of Amaretto sours whilst flitting between free dinner dates at up market restaurants, dancing the light fantastic, being papped for some glossy, or not so glossy magazine, attending the opening of an envelope and then getting up at some ungodly – and VERY un-natural hour – to pound the treadmill and check out the lycra and white sock clad dudes during a sweaty session of body pump.

This month has been, in the most politically correct terms, a killer!!

First we had the family, and I literally mean most of them, descend upon us for their annual holiday which to be honest over the last year has turned more into a six monthly jolly with the threats of them coming back again soon – with their friends! As much as I love having family over as they help stock up the ever evaporating alcohol supplies with a stop at the airport duty free and do the chores that only a loving mother will do such as clean your dirty underwear, take out the trash or clean the stains from the back of the toilet, its always nice to see them leave so that you can have your own bed back and a say on what you watch on the TV.

Work has been crazy as well. Things are moving fast and hopefully by the end of next year we will have created an empire so big that even Simon Cowell will be calling me asking what WE ARE doing.

We had the amazing Emirates woman awards where we introduced Bareface’s latest exclusive signing, the singing and musical sensation, as well as totally hot Clarita de Quiroz to the world. With an amazing performance already in the bag – big things are happening and 2010 is going to be huge and we will blow Dubai and then the rest of the world away! Keep checking back for more details.

A massive thanks also has to be given to the creative, original talented (and very patient) hair and make up artist Lorna Butler for her incredible transformations….. And of course for keeping me in check on more than one occasion. All the guys at Bareface where really supportive, with stress levels way above that of an erupting volcano, all your help was very much appreciated

This month also saw the arrival of LA goddess and red carpet diva Miranda Davidson. Here to promote and present a series of workshops running throughout the Dubai International Film Festival with the amazingly talented, acting coach to the stars Michelle Danner. Miranda is another artist working exclusively with Bareface on numerous projects.

As well as being an accomplished actress in her own right, Miranda is also a red carpet pro, hosting and presenting at many of LA’s most glittering events as well as TV shows and corporate events around the world. Again big things will be happening with Miranda in 2010 and we will definitely be seeing more of her at the playground…... the question is will you all be joining us??